“Being alone never felt right. Sometimes it felt good, but it never felt right.”
―Charles Bukowski
I moved to Canada last week where my husband has been living.After marriage I was living with my in-laws in India and before moving to Canada spent a month with my parents. Family is the major part that I have been missing these days. Although I am very happy to have been reunited with my husband after living in a “long distance marriage” for the last 9 months, but ever since I have landed here the feeling of being lost and alone has been on a rise in my mind. This usually happens at night as i am scared of the dark and this feel takes a grip of my mind and my heart falls prey to it.My husband too has sensed that feeling of mine and constantly tries to cheer up my mood. One thing that seems to work for me is a simple line, ” YOU ARE NOT ALONE” which he says with so much of love and sincerity that my heart makes me want to believe him and calms down after a while.
Why do people have to feel this way? What’s the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them craving connection, and looking for specific experiences and people to satisfy them, yet unintentionally isolating themselves in the process. Why? Was the planet put here just to nourish our loneliness?
The more I’ve experienced and explored my own feelings of uncertainty and loneliness, the more I’ve realized how necessary these feelings are. It’s good for us to spend time exploring unknowns, alone. It gives us an opportunity to discover who we really are and what life is all about.
Here are some things to keep in mind when you feel lost and alone:
1. You are not alone in being alone.
So many of us are fighting the same battle. We are all in this together. No matter how pathetic you feel about your own situation, know that there are others out there experiencing the same emotions. When you hear yourself say, “I am all alone,” it’s just your worried mind trying to sell you a lie. Try to talk to people who care for you and you will know that you have a lot to hold on to.
2. Sometimes when you’re lonely, you need to be alone.
Sometimes you need to be alone, not to be lonely, but to enjoy a little free time just being yourself and finding your way. In other words, the moments you feel lonely are the moments you may most need to be by yourself. This is one of life’s cruelest ironies.
We need this isolation to detach ourselves from all those obligations to hear our own thoughts and feel our intuitions.
3. You have to be a little lost first to find what you’re looking for.
Realizing you are lost is the first step to living the life you want. The second step is leaving the life you don’t want. Making a big life change is pretty scary. But you know what’s even scarier? Regret.
We should always remember that that struggles are a part of life. We all go through them at one point or the other in life and these tough times tend to make us stronger and wiser helping in moving forward in life.
4. Accepting the reality of what is.
Life spins and “expecting the unexpected” out of it is what we should always be ready for. It will either give you all you had ever wished or turn out to be your best teacher. Come from a mindset of peace and acceptance, and you can deal with almost anything and grow beyond it.
5. Being alone does not mean you are lonely and vice versa.
Wouldn’t you agree to the feeling of being lonely in a crowd? You would right. Yes it exists and many of us might have been through this but hesitate to admit it. In life one should choose relationships wisely. It’s better to be alone than being in a bad company but letting go off someone who is worth it is something you can’t afford. In the end you will always need your loved ones around you.
6. You are not who you used to be, and that’s OK.
Ups and downs that have made you who you are today. Numerous things have happened in all these years that have changed your thoughts, taught you lessons and made you grow. Yes you remain the same human being but as time passes nobody stays the same. They tend to bloom into a stronger person and there nothing wrong in not remaining the same that you have been a couple of years back.
7. The best you can do changes from day to day.
Whatever the circumstance is just do your best. Give it your best shot and remember that your best will depend on the situation you are in, i.e., being healthy or sick.
Do not complicate life by adding on battles of the past and their results to the battles of today. Because you can only work on things happening right now and not on the times which have already passed. Live one day at a time and do the best you can do in it.
8. Yes! It all matters.
Every thing that you do, useless or useful, every struggle that you went through, every step that you took, every regret that you had, every smile that you spread and everything that you learned, every relationship that you have earned, it all matters and sums up your life. All of these has strengthened us making us the person we are today.
Let your thoughts on..
What keeps you going when you feel lost and lonely? Share your positivity and comments below.
VIBGYOR! 